The Happiness Challenge

 

People grow accustomed to positive change and improved circumstances.   A raise in salary will make you happy for a while, but then you grow accustomed to that new bigger paycheck, and it no longer makes happy. 

This is often referred to as the “hedonic treadmill”: that we enjoy a pleasure or a happy event, for a limited period of time and then adjust to it and end up in the same place emotionally, as we were before the new event. The most famous case of this phenomenon is that of lottery winners, who typically are no happier a year later than people who had not won anything.

Studies have shown that this adjustment is made more frequently for positive and happy events than negative events.  Positive experiences wear off faster.   If you suffer a major injury, loss a lot of money or even have an argument with a friend it is likely to linger longer than a positive experience. .

But, wouldn’t the world be more pleasant and wouldn’t we be better off if we could get over bad things rapidly and allow good feelings to linger for a long time.

Unfortunately the reality is the other way around.

A benefit of this natural condition of ours is that it helps contribute to our progress and development.   Adjusting to positive change means that we begin to seek greater improvement. In fields of innovation we are continuously seeking better options for health care, nutrition, educational methods, scientific advancement and efficiency of work systems.  We are looking to do better. 

One way to deal with this challenge is to pursue and appreciate small changes for the better.  Don’t only wait for some major success or big windfall.   It is better to have gradual improvements in life rather than making one big jump. 

The necessary balance to this striving for improvement and maintaining happiness, is to practice gratitude and appreciation. This is a gratitude for present conditions which does not eliminate need for more.

While this is an important principle that effects our reactions to accomplishments and acquisitions, it can also apply to our loving relationships too!  If you are not careful you can too easily take for granted your relationship with a loved one and it too will lead to a reduced feeling of happiness.

The solution is the same. Just as with accomplishments, appreciate the little things about your relationship and it will help grow and sustain your personal authentic happiness.

Comments

[Charlie Kalech]

Thanks Morris,

Finding the "Oneness" and connectedness within ourselves, then with others, our community, and our surrounding environment is certainly also a key to happiness. I believe this hinges on an attitudinal shift towards acceptance and not a judgment of whether something is "good" or "bad", "making" us happy or sad

[Morris N. Mann]

Charlie
Absolutely true that we choose our reactions to the events that happen in our lives.That is a major impact on our level of happiness. As you indicated the same event can have different impact on different people.

But, as pointed out by Prof J Haidt in his book "Happiness Hypothesis", happiness comes from both within and without.
The majority of us cannot meditate all day and achieve happiness. We function in our world of relationships and accomplishments.

Haidt, dedicates the 10th chapter of his book to that concept and calls it "Happiness comes from between".
It is a wonderful read.
Morris

[Charlie Kalech]

I totally disagree with the premise of this post. Outside forces do not make us happy or sad. We decide how we react.

For example two people get a raise. You write, "A raise in salary will make you happy for a while." One person may be happy with a raise, another is disappointed because it is not as much as they were expecting. Similarly, two people grow up with the same parents, one says "My father made me an angry person." Their sibling says "My father gave me the ability to be much more sympathetic to those with problems."

It is not the outside force that makes us feel one way or another. We have the power to decide how we react and feel.

I know someone whose house was burgled. All her antique and valuable jewelry was stolen. She was so happy! She was at a transition when she had to make a meaningful decision and she took this as a message from God to take the money from her insurance and invest it in a new business. This person has a positive attitude about life and she was able to apply that even when her house was robbed!

To be happy, the first and most important step is to make the decision to be happy. To think that we should appreciate the small things still places the emphasis on outside occurrences when the only thing that determines if we are happy or not is within ourselves.

To be happy, make the decision to be happy; live in the moment without regrets and fears of the past or the future; be grateful, giving and appreciative for what you have, no matter what or who it is.