Applied Wisdom

"Be A Man"

Being a man means you have to earn respect from others by proving yourself. 

The standards descriptions of male ego to reach such achievments are men being competitive, assertive, confident and even cocky.

But the question is whether the changing culture to encourage men to be more "in touch with their emotions" will influence men's choices and priorities. Will men care less about honor and respect earned though accomplishment and long hours of dedication?  

In the past men wereconsidered to be  out of touch with emotions. In today's world they are encouraged to be in touch and that often means paying attention to personal needs.  But does that undermine male willingness to take risks and compete with others for the benefit of greater society?

To do the dirty dangerous and challenging jobs men  need to put feelings aside and focus on the task at hand.  Personal emotional fulfillment takes a back seat to the man’s drive for public honor and respect.

 Will a talented man not subject himself to the grueling task of ruling a country, dedicating long hours in a lab to discover new medications, or travel for long periods overseas in the service of his country?

 

LEADERSHIP and SUCCESS

 “I don’t want any yes men around me, I want everyone to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs”   Samuel Goldwyn.

George Steinbrenner died yesterday: Tuesday July 14^th. I was never a fan of his. In fact I have been a Mets fan who rejected his bullying tactics and bravado – though I would have been happier if the Mets had the same level of success as the Yankees.

I listened to players, coaches and media speak about him with curiosity.   Aside from his drive to succeed at all costs, was there anything positive they could say about him?

I was struck by the following theme.   Time and again, people said he preferred having people stand up to him.

Whether it was Michael Kay the sports writer, Don Mattlingly his player or Gene Michael his general manager, they all told similar stories.

It was a story, in which George was highly critical of them, and they argued back with him and in some cases they were yelling back and forth.

In each case they thought they would be fired or traded the next day, only to find out that their relationship with him improved for the better as he supported them and gave them respect.

The lessons from such a management style are significant both for leaders and for organizations.

If you are running an organization (business, school, team etc) developing ‘yes men’, that is, developing people who only agree with you all the time, though good for pumping up your ego, does nothing for them or the company.  Having people who will stand up for their opinion, strengthens both you as the leader and the organization as a whole. 

If you leading leader and you do not hear dissenting or even critical opinions from those around you, be wary.

You should actually encourage positive creative dissent!

 

Koufax, Heroes and Standing Up

Sandy Koufax got a lot of media coverage for his participation in the  White House Jewish heritage month celebration.  It made me consider how one defining moment in your life can make you into a hero.  For Koufax, at the pinnacle of his baseball pitching career, it happened when he excused himself from play, in the first game of the World Series, because the game was scheduled on the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur.

He is not a hero in the classic sense, putting oneself in danger to save another. Rather he is a hero because he took a stand for his religious beliefs and principles.   It was heralded and noteworthy because even though he was one of the greatest sports figures of his day,  missing the game could have had a negative impact on both himself and his team. 

Standing up for what you believe implies that it comes with a cost.

 It is most often recognized in famous political and religious leaders.  Examples of such ethical giants are Eli Wiesel, Natan Sharansky, Rev Martin Luther King, Vaclev Havel and Gandhi; all spoke up for what they believed was right, no matter what the personal consequences.

It is easier for us to identify with Koufax than with those ethical giants.  Koufax was not a public figure because of his values.  His stand was a private piece of who he was and how he defined himself.

That is what happened with the adopted parents of Michael Oher in the movie Blind Side.  His adopted mother, Leigh Anne Touhey, was an open minded compassionate southern Baptist woman who withstood friends mocking her efforts at adopting a poor, uneducated black boy.  Leigh Anne did not do it for public recognition or to be highlighted in a movie, rather she did it  because that is who she is and that is how she believes one must lead one’s life whatever the consequences. Public recognition came later.

Our challenge is to identify what values we hold dear and for which we are willing to make our stand. For what or when did we  stand up without fear of ridicule or without concern for financial loss?. It is those moments that define us.

It can be when we adopt a foster child, challenge prejudice  at school or workplace, reach out to a stranger or defend an unpopular position in the audience of friends.  Try to think of the last time you stood up for something.

“Stand up for what you believe in even if you are standing alone”.  Anonymous