Applied Wisdom

Greatness measured in principle not in possessions

I came across the following mention of Gandhi in Huston Smith's 

50th edition of "The World's  Religions".

It is inspiring to imagine want you can do when you dedicate your life to a vrtuous cause.

 " Gandhi's name became, in the midlle of the twnetieth century, the counterpoise to those of Stalin and Hitler.  The achievement for which the world credited this man, was:

• the British withdrawal from India in peace
• he renamed India's untouchables  harijan, "God's people, and raised them to human stature.

And in doing so he provided the nonviolent strategy as well as the insppiration for Martin Luther King Jr's civil rights movement in the USA."

Gandi was a man who weighed less than a hundred pounds and whose worldy possessions when he died were worth less than two dollars.

Some words of wisdom from a great man:

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

"An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind."

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."

BEAUTY - A Quote from Leaon Kass

In his book on the Dignity of Man, Leon Kass, a famous bioethical philospher thinker wrote the followingwords of wisdom  about beauty.

"...only a mortal being, aware of his mortality, and the transience and vvulnerability of all natural things, is moved to make beautiful artifacts , objects that will last, objects that will be immune to decay as their maker is not..."

DEATH and LIFE SIGNIFICANCE

Ernest Becker wrote "What is of paramount importance, what man really fears is not so much extinction but extinction with insignificance"

Often we find significance in our connection to generations of family. Some African cultures have two words for dead. One is simply dead, while the other means "really dead".  In the first instance the person has died, but there are those still alive who remember her. The second meaning is ta the person has been lost to living memory.

You may live as long as your grandchildren remember.   What if there are no grandchhildren or if now the grandchildren have grandchildren?  When there is no one to remember you, have you finally come to an end?

Let us use such wisdom to lead a life of meaning, purpose and significance.

Ethics and Values

"Ethics and what we care about are not by any means the same thing. ...Ethics are the rules yoou apply to get what you care about. What you care about - your values - is more basic than ethics."  -  Martin Seligman "Flourish".

Ethics are the standards we learn or think about. What we care about, our values, is how we live and what we do. 

The bottom line is that what we do is more important than what we think.  Using one to get to the other is applied wisdom.

We need awe inspiring not awesome!

WE NEED TO FEEL AWE NOT AWESOME EXPERIENCES

Many people are awestruck in the presence of celebrities. These celebrities are usually movie stars or sports heroes, with great talent, looks or skill. It is an admiration for a status or ability that is exceptional.

Often people, go out of the way to seek contact with such celebrities: asking for autographs and trying to touch and shake hands with them. It is as if the important social status of the celebrity can be transferred through contact. 

But this sense of awe is really an exaggerated and often fleeting sense of admiration. It has led to the overused word awesome to describe an exciting or thrilling experience. 

 The psychologist Dacher Keltner explained that the true emotion of authentic awe has two distinct qualities: that of perceived vastness and of accommodation. 

Authentic awe happens when a person perceives something that is vast and something he cannot accommodate.  Not being able to accommodate means that it is beyond one’s ability to comprehend. It elicits fear, reverence or elevation. The experience makes a person stop in their “cognitive tracks” and feel small and powerless. 

 This authentic awe gives us a sense of wonder and realization that something much larger and more powerful than we are is “out there”.  Wonder alone is considered an emotion that people feel when perceiving something unexpected or rare.   Authentic awe is wonder with the added experience of reverence

One of the most awe inspiring experiences ever reported was the giving of the Ten Commandments at Mt Sinai.  The Bible describes the scene with powerful language and the experience resonates for us thousands of years later.

The dawn of the third day broke amid thunder and lightning that filled the air. Heavy clouds hung over the mountain and the steadily growing sounds of the Shofar made the people shake and tremble with fear. Moses led the children of Israel out of the camp and placed them at the foot of Mount Sinai, which was all covered by smoke and was quaking, for G-d had descended upon it in fire.  The sound of the Shofar grew louder, but suddenly all sounds ceased, and an absolute silence ensued; and then G-d proclaimed the Ten Commandments. (Exodus chapter 20)

Keltner also explains that in the past, the experience of awe was often socially associated with respect to a person in a position of power.    Society was hierarchal and people were more inclined to subordinate their own interests and goals to those of a powerful leader.  In such societies awe toward a leader reinforces commitment to the social hierarchies and different power status.

An example of this form of awe was exhibited by a commoner, in the presence of a king for the first time. The experience of the commoner involves a sense of being overwhelmed, because royalty falls outside their daily experience and knowledge.  It was also accompanied with a sense of reverence as the king had a power over the lives of the individual commoner. 

But our modern western world is governed by egalitarian values.  Most people in the Western world do not seek to idolize and revere any one individual and bestow them unlimited power over their lives

Perhaps the most common experience of awe for contemporary egalitarian societies is the response to phenomenon in nature.  We feel awe in response to large natural phenomenon such as mountains, vistas, storms and oceans. 

Yet with the advent of science and technology we are becoming immune to the awe inspiring potential of nature.  Three hundred years ago, a young boy may have asked his father why does an apple fall from the tree and his father would have answered that it did so because God wanted it to fall.  Today that father would say it is due to gravity.

The great philosopher Abraham Heshchel lamented that modern man falls into a trap of losing a sense of wonder because he believes science can explain all natural phenomenon.  That makes the wonder with nature into nothing more than a reflection of one's ignorance.

 "Indifference to the sublime wonder of living is the root of disenchantment with God” Heshchel

 Keltner explains that nature inspired awe involves a diminished self, and the sense of being in the presence of a higher power.   Natural beauty is vast in relation to the self, and can transcend one’s degree of understanding.

To allow ourselves to be open to this experience of awe in nature we need to leave our man made home environment.  We must leave the safety of our city and our home and expose ourselves to the vastness and overwhelming experience of nature.

Whether ocean, mountain, forest or jungle it can inspire awe in us.   To have been at the base of a rocky cliff with the breaking of huge waves, the thundering roar of massive waterfall or the vastness of a high mountain top can be awe inspiring.

Why is awe important?

Our experience of the vastness and incomprehensibility of a powerful natural event makes us feel small and insignificant.  It helps to develop our sense of humility.

 At the same time we revere the power behind it. Peter Berger, a famous sociologist of religion, has said that our connection to God is due to such experiences of awe. It reinforces our need to believe in a grand power that rules over a sense of order in our universe.  In fact, some powerful experiences of awe can change one’s life in profound and permanent ways.

By connecting with the divine presence during such experiences we are both recognizing our human limitations as well as developing a sense of security because we are connecting with that divine power

As Martin Seligman wrote:  “authentic  happiness comes from connecting with something greater than the self.”  There is nothing greater than connecting with God. 

This is ability of nature to inspire such a connection is evident in the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson after his walk in the forest:   “in the woods we return to faith. There I feel …my head bathed by the blithe air and uplifted to infinite space – all mean of egotism vanishes...I become part and parcel of God”.

Dr Mann is a Clinical Psychologist and Certified Life Coach, who helps young adult males, adults in transition, and business executives achieve positive goals.  He has offices in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. morris.mann@gmail.com

Does Science Threaten our Religious Beliefs

Evolutionary scientists claim that science proves man has evolved from other animal species.  Since science has proven many religious dogmas false over the past three centuries (i.e. the sun revolving around the earth; spontaneous regeneration), this evolutionary claim is alarming and threatening to many believers.

Not me! In fact the more I read and learn about the unique nature of man the more I believe that only God could have created such a complex unique being. My faith in God and Genesis is strengthened.

What is the evolutionary position?  It is that unique human traits can be traced to similar traits in the animal kingdom. If such traits were found in an animal species it proves for the evolutionists that this human trait has evolved from animal

An example to consider is man’s ability to adapt to his environment and transmit this acquired knowledge from one generation to the next. This human trait contributes to our developing culture and improved standards of living.

The evolutionists example of animal learning is: the Japanese species of monkeys that learned to wash their main staple of food the sweet potato prior to eating because eating the dirty potatoes  ruined their teeth. This lesson was shown to be transmitted to future generations of monkeys.  Yet, when these monkeys were brought to the USA and given clean sweet potatoes to eat, they washed them anyway.

Such an isolated example of transmitted learning which doesn’t even adapt to new environment certainly doesn’t convince me. It actually made me, think that such scientists themselves, are making a leap of faith. That is, that they, treat evolution as their own religious dogma.

Dean Hammer made this point in his book “the God Gene”, in arguing that evolutionary biologists and psychologists have to take a leap of faith as well.  They can only prove scientifically that there is a possibility that evolution can explain the development of human life They cannot prove it did so absolutely. To believe it, is the evolutionist’s taking a leap of faith. 

On the other hand, for those of us who believe God created human beings, the evidence of the uniqueness of human ability is far beyond any animal.  Do animals live any differently now than they did thousands of years ago, like we do?  I don’t think so.

Appreciating our unique human abilities can be inspiring. An example to consider is man’s unique linguistic ability.  We use language to learn from each other and advance; to resolve disputes on the basis of reason and conversation, rather than aggression; to connect past, present and future;   to think of alternative solutions; to think conceptually and systematically; and to create a cooperative society with a division of labor for greater efficiency. 

To imagine any animal doing  any one of those  is preposterous. Again this human uniqueness only strengthens and supports my belief in God’s hand in the creation of human life.

To fully understand and appreciate all human abilities is to appreciate the Godliness within us. It is to be cognizant of being “created in the Image of God.” from the “dust of the earth”  and with a “living soul”.

But, it comes with the responsibility of recognizing that all men were created equally, as our brothers, by the hand of God. All with potential for Godliness.

May such appreciation and understanding lead to increased brotherhood and peace.

 

Developing Compassion

I have wondered in a prior blog about whether compassion and goodness came naturally to people?

Scientists have been able to identify biological and neurological, repression of compassion. Researchers have demonstrated that the brain region related to positive emotions is stimulated when mothers look at pictures of their babies.

In another study people’s brain activity was measured when they were helping others and found that the anterior brain areas that are stimulated during pleasurable activities are stimulated when we were helping others.

Other researchers found that the hormone oxytocin is secreted during experiences that elicit compassion or bonding. Examples of this are: by mothers during breast feeding and when watching inspiring movie.

Feeling compassion is one thing, but acting on it is altogether something else. Does compassion promote altruistic behavior?

D Keltner, editor  of the Greater Good magazine,  claims that high levels of empathy and compassion do contribute to altruistic behavior.   A simple example: since babies often elicit compassionate responses, people are more likely to return a lost wallet if there is a picture of a baby in it than if not.

That may be true of those people with high levels of compassion, but how do we develop it?

The Bible has taught us that man is not inherently good. In the Biblical story of Noah God makes a covenant with man based on the fact that man is ruled by his s evil inclination. If this biblical wisdom teaches us that man has an inclination to s selfishness and greed which can lead evil acts, then we need to know how to develop compassion.

Keltner suggests that parents can make a difference.  Parents can develop empathy by making sure their children think about the consequences of their actions and how those actions may impact other people. 

 This type of parenting helps develop an appreciation of other people’s feelings and a willingness to correct a wrong and over time lead to more altruistic behavior.

 

IS BEING GOOD and COMPASSIONATE PART OF HUMAN NATURE ?

I enjoy “feel good” movies in which the guy gets the girl at the end.  I enjoy movies as being entertaining and sometimes inspiring, not though, as educational.

 

But, watching a re-run of the classic move Groundhog Day made me reflect on the question of goodness and human nature.

 

The main character, Phil Connor is a television reporter who is depicted as arrogant and selfish.  This day he feels belittled by the petty assignment in a small town and is disrespectful to his crew and the people in the town.   

 

What happens next is that he relives this same day over and over again. As a result he comes to two realizations. At first he realizes that no matter what he does there are no consequences to his actions, because no matter what happens, he will anyway wake up and it will be the same day again. This makes him terribly frustrated. He takes out that frustration by becoming annoyed with everyone.  He then realizes that he can be self indulgent. He can drink and eat without limit, and even drive off a cliff, and the next day he will be back in the same place and same reality.  This allows him to take advantage and indulge in physical pleasure and thrills. 

 

His second realization is that since he knows exactly what will happen throughout this repeated day, while others do not, he is in a position of power.  This motivates him to take advantage of people. He robs a Brinks truck and manipulates the best looking woman in town to sex.

 

After this stage of manipulating people, something remarkable happens to him. He discovers that he feels better about himself by helping other people.  He then begins to use his knowledge advantage to do good for others. He gives money, saves someone’s life and, caters to his TV crew and falls in love with his woman producer. 

 

Is such a transition possible or is it only a fantasy for a movie?

 

In some way this transition from self indulgence to manipulation and then compassion and giving, can be viewed as a transition through stages of life.  At a young age we are inclined to focus on our personal needs, and as we age we learn to reflect on life and use our knowledge for the good of those we care about.

 

But, is that a natural progression for all people?  Can we find a way to encourage compassion and goodness at younger ages?

 

Is goodness and compassion part of our nature and how can we facilitate and encourage it?

 

 

SUCCESS DEPENDS ON YOUR MINDSET

“Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration!”  Thomas Edison

 

All of us are familiar with this famous quote.  We know we have to work hard to achieve success. But what can help motivate us to work hard?

 

Carol Dweck claims the answer is having the right mindset. In her book “Mindset – The Psychology of Success” she explained that there are two types of people: those with a ‘fixed mindset’ and those with a ‘growth mindset’.

 

People with a “fixed mindset” believe that their talents and abilities are fixed traits. They have a certain amount and nothing can be done to change it. When people adopt the fixed mindset, it can limit their success. They become over-concerned with proving their talents and abilities, hiding deficiencies, and reacting defensively to mistakes

People with a “growth mindset” believe that their talents and abilities can be developed. It's about taking informed risks and learning from the results, surrounding themselves with people who are able to challenge them to grow, and looking at their deficiencies and seeking to remedy them.

 

Dweck has also found that managers with a growth mindset believe in other people's growth too. These managers promote and recognize improvement in their team. On the other hand, managers with a fixed mindset do not believe people can change significantly and say to themselves “what's the use in coaching employees - they either have it or they don't.” It would seem true that  such attitudes neither benefits the mangers or those they manage.

Having a growth mindset helps all of us working with people, whether as parents, teachers, coaches or managers. 

 

Peter Heslin has developed workshops that effectively help people learn how to change their mindset. It starts with showing them scientific evidence of brain change and growth and then trains people with the use of effective exercises.  The exercises are mentioned in the following interview and you can try them and test their effectiveness.

http://www.managementsite.com/501/Interview-Personal-effectiveness-The-growth-mindset.aspx

If you aim for success make sure to develop your growth mindset, it will help you and those you work with.

 

 

SPIRITUALITY and RELIGIOUS CHALLENGE TODAY

Recent surveys of religion in USA indicate that people’s affiliation with religion is becoming more diverse and fluid.  More than 40% of American adults have left the faith in which they were raised, in favor of another religion or no religion at all.  And the percentage of young people under the age of 30 who identifying themselves as unaffiliated with any religion has reached 25%.

Some explanations for these changes are the breakdown of community, the travel and transient demands of work and the emphasis on individuality in Western culture.

This reality presents challenges for us parents and lay leaders in religious communities.  .

Isaac was a student of mine. His spiritual journey reflects that challenge.   He grew up in a Jewish religiously conservative environment and culture in which holidays were celebrated.  But, nothing ever inspired him to pursue a religious lifestyle.  He felt a lack of spontaneity and connection to God within the confines of his native city temple and religious service.

It was during a summer in college that he decided to join a 10 week cross country Jewish ecological tour.  It took no longer than the first morning of the trip which was leaving from the mountains of Mr. Rainer in Washington, for him to be moved spiritually.

He described that moment as the first time he felt God’s presence as being tangible.  As he rode home looking over the cascade of mountains, he felt he could now connect to the words of Psalms with the new awe he now felt in the presence of God’s world

Since then Isaac has sought out religious experiences that were meaningful and spiritual.  These included: teaching Jewish texts on an organic farm, joining religious chanting groups and coming to Jerusalem to study.

There is a wonder and beauty in an individual like Isaac finding the meaningful channel to nurture his personal yearning and connection with God.

The problem is that spirituality and relationship with God is not exclusively a personal experience.  By nature we are drawn to share our spiritual yearnings in a community of like minded people.  Isaac is searching for that community.

The challenge for those of us, adults and parents, affiliated with traditional religious communities, is to allow our children to search for their personal spiritual connection.  It is a search we should encourage while simultaneously identifying opportunities to include them in our broader community.

 

 

FATHERS, MOTHERS AND PARENTING

“I cannot think of a need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection” Sigmund Freund

This Sunday is Father’s day across America.

It’s no surprise that having fathers around is in the best interests of children’s emotional as well as physical health.  Historical studies document that fact. Their primary, not exclusive, responsibility is different than a mother’s.

As a faithful Bible reader, I believe this model for mothers and fathers originates in the third chapter of Genesis in which   God tell s Eve in the Garden of Eden: “your  desire will be for your husband and he shall rule over you. “   

Woman’s desire for a husband is the female inclination to value monogamous heterosexual relationships more than men.  It is a reflection of a higher premium women place on human relationships, which is in the best interests of children and family.

During the past thousands of years, women were faced with the challenge of attracting males and encouraging them to maintain a monogamous relationship.  That insured greater safety and regular sustenance for the family.   Women’s greater skill in nurturing and caring for children required her to focus on that task, and have a male partner providing and protecting her and the children.

Despite the modern women’s movement belief that men and women are psychologically indistinguishable I think that the reality of caring for children and providing for the family has adjusted those roles but not changed them fundamentally. When taking responsibility for a family, just like a business or a sports team, it is important to have defined roles with primary responsibilities. 

 For a woman to maximize her potential in the role of nurturing parent she is dependent on a supportive male.  Without adequate male support the emotional security and physical sustenance are weakened and stresses increase.

For a male to embrace the role of father, and not just provider, takes an investment of time and a lot of learning.  Some tips include: spending positive quality  time with your children;  disciplining with love;   being  a positive role model;  be a teacher;  listen before you speak;  and make time to eat as a family.   

The best father is one with a loving relationship with his wife.  And children thrive when mother and father respect and value each other’s importance as parents.

Koufax, Heroes and Standing Up

Sandy Koufax got a lot of media coverage for his participation in the  White House Jewish heritage month celebration.  It made me consider how one defining moment in your life can make you into a hero.  For Koufax, at the pinnacle of his baseball pitching career, it happened when he excused himself from play, in the first game of the World Series, because the game was scheduled on the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur.

He is not a hero in the classic sense, putting oneself in danger to save another. Rather he is a hero because he took a stand for his religious beliefs and principles.   It was heralded and noteworthy because even though he was one of the greatest sports figures of his day,  missing the game could have had a negative impact on both himself and his team. 

Standing up for what you believe implies that it comes with a cost.

 It is most often recognized in famous political and religious leaders.  Examples of such ethical giants are Eli Wiesel, Natan Sharansky, Rev Martin Luther King, Vaclev Havel and Gandhi; all spoke up for what they believed was right, no matter what the personal consequences.

It is easier for us to identify with Koufax than with those ethical giants.  Koufax was not a public figure because of his values.  His stand was a private piece of who he was and how he defined himself.

That is what happened with the adopted parents of Michael Oher in the movie Blind Side.  His adopted mother, Leigh Anne Touhey, was an open minded compassionate southern Baptist woman who withstood friends mocking her efforts at adopting a poor, uneducated black boy.  Leigh Anne did not do it for public recognition or to be highlighted in a movie, rather she did it  because that is who she is and that is how she believes one must lead one’s life whatever the consequences. Public recognition came later.

Our challenge is to identify what values we hold dear and for which we are willing to make our stand. For what or when did we  stand up without fear of ridicule or without concern for financial loss?. It is those moments that define us.

It can be when we adopt a foster child, challenge prejudice  at school or workplace, reach out to a stranger or defend an unpopular position in the audience of friends.  Try to think of the last time you stood up for something.

“Stand up for what you believe in even if you are standing alone”.  Anonymous

The Conception of a Blog

I watched the movie Julie and Jilia last week.  Aside from it being delightful and charming it inspired me to write a blog.  For some reason I had always been intimidated about doing it, but seeing the film with Julie writing freely and openly helped inspire me to put thoughts to paper.

So, I think I should start with explaining my focus. What is it that I want to write about.  Marketing messagers will advise me to find a problem that people are struggling with and write about that.  Or, come up with an effective way to help people make money.

This blog is neither of those.  It is me, Morris N. Mann, Ph.D. sharing with you my wish to help you enhance your life.. For me enhancing your life means appreciating things more, enriching your relationships, and spending as much time as you can with activities and people that touch your heart and and your soul. It is keeping in mind the meaning of life

So, since blogs are supposed to be short, I have written enough

Until nex time -  wishing you happiness and success

MM

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